Heto, pinagtiyagaan i-compile ng kung sinumang walang magawa (hindi kaya ginamit sa research paper ito?-me):

FA (College of Fine Arts) Wall
someone wrote: "nobody cares"
somebody answered: "not even the carebears?"
then another: "not even kier?"
then: "not even zoren?"
lastly: "not even zorro?"
all written by different people.

AS (Arts and Sciences) Building
AS chairs:
"push button to eject seatmate"

"push button to eject urself"

"push button to kill teacher."

"push button to eject teacher"
.....reply: "it's jammed! We're doomed!"

"you know bobo? bobo is you!"

AS 1st floor CR
"if you forget the past, then you porget the purious.."

" Im a simple gay "
tapos me sumagot: "sira! Dapat 'Im simple and gay!' Taga peyups ka ba? duh! "
tapos me sumagot ulit (with matching arrow pa na nakaturo dun sa reply): "sira ka rin! yung simple is used as an adjective tapos yung gay is used as
a noun. kaya ok lang yung simple gay nya!"

CHEM
Chem chairs:
"push button to spray acid on prof's face."

"You Boron!!!"

BIO
Bio chair:
"Push cadaver to haunt teacher."

FO Santos
"SA MGA NAGTATAPON NG BASURA DITO... bawal."

ENG'G
Sa Men's CR, facing the urinal:
"Hawak ko saking mga kamay ang kinabukasan ng bayan!"
Reply: the future you are holding is very small."

GAB
sa likod ng armchair sa isang room sa GAB:
"takas ng ward 7"

MATH
sa cr sa may math building:
"SUMAPI SA NPA! "
may sumagot: "PAANO? "
may sumagot pa: "MAGFILL UP NG COUPON AT IHULOG SA PINAKAMALAPIT NA DROP BOX SA SUKING TINDAHAN!"

sa math building, sa likod ng isang "teacher's chair" sa 3rd floor:
"BABALA: asawa ni babalu"

sa math 3rd floor, sa isang upuan uli:
"you'll NEVER find what you're looking for"
May nag-reply: "find x."

sa math 3rd floor, sa isa pang upuan uli:
"F*CK DA WORLD! "
may sumagot: "F*CK U TOO! --WORLD-"

3rd floor math cr:
"kaibigan, pagkapatos mong umihi, paki PLUS mo naman, hehehe."

UPIS *(University of the Philippines Integrated School)
sa loob ng music room:
"maam _______(music prof) boses palaka! "
tas may sumagot: "nakarinig ka na ba ng boses ng palaka "
tas may sumagot uli: "weh "
tas may nag-react uli: "oo, sabi kokak!kokak!"

VINZONS
Wall ng vinzons:
"Do not steal. The government hates competition"

men's cr sa Vinzon's:
"remember, the hands that clean this toilet are the same hands that cook
your food."

men's cr waaaay above the urinal:
"if you can reach this, the fire department wants you!"

NIGS *(National Institute of Geological Sciences ata..hehe)
sa isang upuan:
"f*ck nigs!"
may nagreply: "who's nigs?"

MAIN LIB
Sa isang lamesa ng main lib, filipiniana section:
"UP STUDENTS HAS BECOME PATETHIC"
tapos may sumagot...
"mali pang grammar at spelling mo, halatang di ka taga UP"

KALAI *(kalayaan dorm ata..):
nietzsche-"god is dead"
God- "Nietzsche is dead!"

AS waiting shed
Ad from a Korean: "I need a English tutor."
At may nagdagdag: "Badly."

Don't be a stranger. Just be strange

You would do well to cancel your Credit Card before you die.. Else ....

Here is a true conversation transcript with Citi Bank Callcentre.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance now is somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank. Here is the exchange:

Family Member: "I am calling to tell you she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Citibank: "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?" (I really liked this part!!!!)
Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor." (Duh!)

Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply." (This must be a phrase taught by the bank!)
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)
Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (Fax number is given)

After they get the fax:
Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply." (What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Citibank: "That might help."
Family Member: " Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!" ( Some realisation at last!)
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?

JACK, a smart businessman, talks to his son,
JACK: "I want you to marry a girl of my choice."
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"
JACK: "But the girl is Bill Gate's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"

Next JACK approaches Bill Gates.
JACK: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
JACK: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"

Finally JACK goes to see the president of the World Bank.
JACK: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice-presidents than I need!"
JACK: "But this young man is Bill Gates' son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case...ok"

Brace yourself guys.... this is not for the weak and fainthearted!

Kapag may sinuksok at walang madukot, may nandukot.
Ang taong nagigipit...sa bumbay kumakapit.
Ang taong naglalakad nang matulin... may utang.
Pag may usok...may nag-iihaw.
No guts, no glory... no ID, no entry.
Ang buhay ay parang bato, it's hard.
Walang matigas na tinapay sa gutom na tao.
Birds of the same feather make a good feather duster.
Kapag may taga, may tahi.
Huli man daw at magaling, undertime pa rin.
To err is human, to errs is humans. (WOW! GALING SA GRAMMAR...)
Ang naglalakad ng matulin, late na sa appointment.
Better late than later...
Aanhin ang palasyo kung ang nakatira ay kuwago, mabuti pa ang bahay kubo, sa paligid puno ng linga.
Ang sakit ng kalingkingan, kailangan ng alaxan.
Matalino man ang matsing, matsing pa rin.
Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika, lumaki sa ibang bansa.
Kapag maikli ang kumot, tumangkad ka na!
Kapag maiksi na ang kumot, bumili ka na ng bago.
Better late than pregnant.
Behind the clouds are the other clouds.
Aanhin pa ang damo.. kung bato na ang uso!
Its better to cheat than to repeat!
Do unto others... then run!!!
Pag di ukol, di bubukol...siya ay baog!
Kapag puno na ang salop, kumuha na ng ibang salop.
Magbiro ka na sa lasing at sa bagong gising, huwag lang sa lasing na bagong gising.
When all else fails, follow instructions.
No man is an island because time is gold.
An apple a day... is too expensive.
An apple a day, makes seven apples a week.
Hindi lahat ng kumikinang ay ginto.. muta lang yan.
Kapag ang puno mabunga...mataba ang lupa!
When it rains...it floods.
Pagkahaba haba man ng prusisyon... mauubusan din ng kandila.
Ang buhay ay parang gulong, minsan nasa ibabaw, minsan nasa....vulcanizing shop.
Batu-bato sa langit, ang tamaan... sapul.
Try and try until you succeed... or else try another
Huwag magbilang ng manok kung alaga mo ay itik.
Pag may tyaga.. goodluck.
If you can't beat them, shoot them.